Influence
Part 5  The Individual Operator
Chapter 136 of 360

The Tinder Swindler: Shimon Hayut and the Debt of Love

The pattern was the same each time, and it worked because each stage was individually reasonable.

Shimon Hayut, calling himself Simon Leviev and claiming to be the son of the Israeli diamond magnate Lev Leviev, matched with women on Tinder. The first date was extravagant — a private jet, a five-star hotel, business class — and paid for entirely by him, which established both wealth and generosity before anything was asked.

Then intensive contact. Constant messaging, calls, video, presence in the woman's day from waking to sleeping, plans discussed for a shared future. Attachment forms on frequency and intensity of contact rather than on duration of acquaintance, which is why this stage is not merely courtship but a mechanism.

Then, weeks in, the emergency. His enemies were after him. Business rivals, or people connected to the diamond trade, had made an attempt on his security team. He could no longer use his own cards, because the transactions were traceable and would reveal his location. Photographs arrived — a bodyguard bleeding, hospital images. Could she help, briefly, with a card in her name, which he would repay immediately.

The money then escalated: credit cards, loans, further cards taken out to service the first ones. Several women ended up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Some of it was used to fund the courtship of the next woman, which is the structural feature that makes this a Ponzi scheme with romance as the instrument.

Three mechanisms from earlier in this guide are stacked.

Reciprocity, from chapter 1, is loaded in the first phase. A woman who has been flown to Mykonos has received a great deal and been asked for nothing, and the resulting obligation is not a calculation — it is felt as concern for someone who has been good to her.

Intermittent reinforcement, from chapter 19, runs throughout: warmth and crisis alternating unpredictably, which produces preoccupation rather than doubt, and which makes the relationship feel higher-stakes than a stable one would.

And the crisis frame does something specific to the evaluation. The request is not for an investment, which would be assessed. It is for temporary help in an emergency, which is assessed by a different faculty entirely — refusing feels like abandoning someone in danger rather than declining a financial proposition.

Hayut was convicted of fraud in Finland in 2015 and served time, was arrested in Greece on a forged passport, and was convicted in Israel in 2019, serving five months of a fifteen-month sentence. The Netflix documentary in 2022 made him internationally recognizable; he was arrested again in Georgia in 2025.

The women received no compensation and are, in most cases, still repaying the debts.

The case

Simon Leviev (born Shimon Yehuda Hayut, 1990), Israeli fraudster who posed as the son of diamond magnate Lev Leviev to defraud women met on Tinder; he served time in Finland for defrauding women and was convicted in Israel in 2019, later arrested in Georgia in 2025.

The mechanism

Romance fraud runs on accelerated attachment: intense contact and constant messaging produce oxytocin-linked trust and pair-bonding responses documented by Kosfeld and colleagues, which measurably reduce betrayal aversion before any money is discussed. The ‘enemies are after me’ emergency then converts love into obligation via reciprocity (Cialdini), since the victim has already received gifts and attention. Intermittent warmth and crisis create the reinforcement schedule that underlies traumatic bonding, so victims took loans and credit cards to restore the bond rather than to evaluate the story.

What this chapter covers

  1. A Tel Aviv fraudster borrows a dynasty
  2. Fast attachment and chemically primed trust
  3. Private jets, hotels, and staged emergencies
  4. Debt taken to preserve the bond
  5. Victims compare notes with journalists
  6. Israeli conviction, early release, later arrest